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...my darling, i have never felt a wound run so deep... [entries|friends|calendar]
Nick Connolly

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Top 10 of 2009 [03 Jan 2010|06:10am]


Top 10 Albums of 2009Collapse )
3 comments|post comment

WHAT THE FUCK? [01 Jan 2009|03:49pm]
Haiku2 for xlotussundialx
interludes those are
always the best cereal
ever invented
@
Created by Grahame
3 comments|post comment

bored post [24 Feb 2008|10:26pm]
Stolen from january_embers

*Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
*Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
*Post them here for everyone to guess.
*Strike them out when someone guesses correctly. Also put who has guessed it and the movie.
*No GOOGLING/YAHOOING/WHATEVERING :)


1. "Today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."

2. "Well my name is with a K, so I was thinking my band's name could be with a C. That way it's kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing"

3. "I got the pool, she got the Pool man."

4. "Fantasies have to be unrealistic. Because the minute, the second, that you get what you want, you don't, you can't...want it anymore."

5. "Some guy came into the store refusing to pay late fees. Said the store was closed for two hours yesterday. I tore up his membership."

6. "Have some more sloppy joes! I made 'em extra sloppy for yous! I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy!"

7. "And how did you feel, being denied these 'Hungry, Hungry Hippos?'"

8. "I like to look for things no one else catches. I hate the way drivers never look at the road in old movies."

9. "It must've been Tuesday. He was wearing his cornflower-blue tie."

10. "Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, 'I'm a grown man. I should know what goes on my head.' And the more I thought about it... the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out... I'd start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet."

11. "Oh I'm the weird one? You're the one calling Barry Manilow from a phone booth at 2:00 am."

12. "Hey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulfur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer."

13. "I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater."

14. "Because we are the people you do not see. We are the ones who drive your cabs. We clean your rooms. And suck your cocks."

15. "I remember when this was all farmland as far the eye could see. Old man Peabody owned all of this. He had this crazy idea about breeding pine trees."

16. "There's an underground road...and it goes from Texas to D.C....you know what? They smuggle U.F.O's through there...bad thing."

17. "This isn't a game! In the real world, when you kill people they die - for real! And in the real world you're fucked!"

18. "You don't have to worry about me because I'm a hard-ass. And if a kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking them in the head."

19. "I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, I can walk backwards fast as you can."

20. "Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!"
9 comments|post comment

[17 Jan 2008|09:04pm]
title or description





So...i haven't updated in forever, and that's mainly because I really haven't had much to say even though a lot has gone on. I promise I'll make a real update soon but I just had to come do the yearly ritual of posting my Top 10 of 2007...so here it goes, for those who wanna read it...

Top 10 of 2007Collapse )
3 comments|post comment

[19 Mar 2007|01:17am]
tonight is the most eye opening night i've had in a long time...something's really missing from me, and i'm taking the first step towards getting it back tonight.

This is the first positive entry ive made in a long time, so let me first get the negative out of the way and fill you all in on the shit going on in my life lately.

- My dad wants to move to Florida. He might be getting approved for this house in the perfect location and everything, and if he does, then he's leaving in a month and i'm gonna have to find a studio apartment until Rachel and I can move in together when she's done with school in January.

- I have an eye condition called Keratoconus, for those who i havent told, and it's a misshaping of the cornea that can only be fixed by wearing a rigid gas permeable lens that feels like theres always a pebble in your eye...luckily i use a "piggyback" system of wearing a soft lens with the hard lens over it, so the discomfort isnt TOO bad. The shitty part is, My eye doctor's been adjusting the fit on these since October, and it's still not right. They're small lenses, so they fall out when theyre not fitted properly. Needless to say, even though it's close to a fit right now, theres still some problems and i bitch about them on a daily basis. They really have put a damper on my daily life because they're always there, and you feel it, so it's hard to just put out of your mind.

- I'm still an unemployed bum, and with the recent possiblility of my dad moving, ive been trying to get my shit together and get a job. I have an interview tomorrow, and i've had several leads, but nothing has gone thru yet.


Now that all that negative shit is out of the way, i'd like to officially say....Fuck it

I whine, i bitch, i complain...yes i do all of these things, it's part of who i am...but i also used to have this side to me that still felt like it was just bitching, and wasnt really affecting me too much. I still felt like i could do anything, and i could be happy. Ive lost that lately. Ive lost everything, the desire to create music, listen to music, my sex drive, the drive to live my life the way i want, without letting anyone bring me down

Tonight i realized it fully when i was talking to Rachel. somethings been wrong for too long, and it's because ive let everything overtake me. I've been afraid of disappointing people so much that i neglect my own happiness. I feel guilty doing anything i love because i feel like my dad's sitting in the other room all pissed off that i dont have a job. I'm doing things to please other people, not myself. I'm doing it with Rachel too...i've been feeling so down on myself that i tiptoe around her because i feel like i could lose her any second lately.

Rachel sent me an album she downloaded by a band i liked in high school called Moment. I know some of you probably remember them, but i always liked them and never had their album. I liked many bands and never had their albums, because of dialup and being broke, and ive lost those bands. i completely forgot about their existence, but when Rachel said the name "Moment", it triggered back everything. There Were Wires, the Tie That Binds, Dynamite Boy, Forstella Ford, all these great bands i used to listen to that i totally forgot about. It's brought back something in me that i thought was gone forever, and that's Nick. 16 year old, i can conquer the world, fuck everybody else i'm gonna make it without going to college and i'm gonna start a band even if i have to work my ass off to get it. Most of all, a complete disregard for pleasing everyone else, and just a focus on me.

Christ! i have $5,600 in savings bonds that i was just gonna keep stored away forever, just to have a way out...but fuck! the old Nick wouldnt care about a way out. The old Nick was ready to up and move to Chicago 2 years ago with only $1,500 in his bank account just to be near a girl he had a crush on and his best friend. The old Nick worked his ass off at a shitty 3rd shift job just to be able to get that $1,500. The old Nick spiked his hair and wore plaid pajama pants cut into shorts, not that it looked good or anything, but he was confident, and didnt care what anyone thought...the old Nick played shows with a combo amp and a guitar that didnt stay in tune, just because he wanted to play in a band...now i'm sitting here going "uhhh, well i cant start a band now because i dont have professional equipment yet"

i hope my dad moves. i hope he goes to florida, and im forced to get a place of my own, and i work 80 hours a week and im totally fine with it because i know i can come home and listen to albums and write the best songs in the world, and i can start a band, and get a Jazzmaster, and start going to shows again and not feel guilty about it because i "shouldnt be spending the money" or "my dad wouldnt approve"...i'm gonna get a really good record player, and buy more records...i'm going to sleep less than 10 hours a fucking night...i'm going to read more books, and be a movie buff again...i'm not going to hold back anymore.

I'm going to say and do what i want, and not let people make me feel like less of a person for my opinions. For example, Rap is bullshit. Fuck you. yeah, maybe it's a sometimes credible, evolved form of beat poetry, but it has no musical value in my eyes. I'm tired of letting people prove me wrong when i'm not necessarily wrong, i just have a differing opinion. The old Nick wouldnt have ever let people persuade him in their favor. The old Nick would beat a dead horse until he got his point across, or at least until he got the point across that nothing was going to change his mind...i don't respect 99% of people enough to let them sway me even slightly

i think i'm finally figuring out my priorities. i'm never going to be happy doing anything unless i do it without someone watching over my shoulder. i'm getting a job or 2, getting my eyes fixed once and for all, moving the fuck out of here, and pursuing my musical dreams and for fucks sake taking the time to listen to music again instead of moping around all the time. I remember a time where all i did was listen to music, really LISTEN. Now everything else is taking priority

I'm so sick of letting other people make me feel guilty about living my life the way i want, and not going to school, and not being conventional...i'm gonna prove them fucking wrong, and sure i'll bitch and whine about stuff, but i'm not gonna let it ruin my day anymore. Summer's coming. It's gonna be a good one.
9 comments|post comment

[28 Feb 2007|12:11am]
haha i love these kind of things...i dont know why

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 46%
Stability |||| 20%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 43%
Accommodation |||||||||| 36%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 50%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 43%
Mystical |||| 16%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism || 10%
Materialism |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50%
Work ethic |||| 16%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||| 56%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||||| 56%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 43%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical Fitness |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 43%
Vanity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 63%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com


i think the descriptions of "hypersensitivity" and "peter pan complex" could be used to sum me up entirely.
4 comments|post comment

[19 Feb 2007|11:50pm]
i stole this from Julia, cause i feel like seeing if anyone actually fills it out, and ive been thinking about good memories alot lately. in case i dont say it enough, i miss so many of you, and so many other people i had great times with. i dont think i'll ever really let go of the past. thanks to anyone who's given me great memories to look back and smile on :)

01: what is your first memory of me:
02: how long have we been friends:
03: tell about one memory we share together:
04: describe me in four adjectives:
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
06: name one thing you really don't like about me:
07: name one thing you really do like about me:
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be:
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what:
10: have we ever hugged:
11: have we ever danced with each other:
12: have you ever seen me cry:
13: have i ever offended you:
14: what is something embarrassing that i've done:
15: what do i usually look like when you see me:
16: what do i say all the time..whats my catch phrase:
17: do you think we will be friends in 5 years:
18: do you think i am bitchy:
19: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't:
20: what advice would you give me, in general:
21: are we close friends..if not why?:
22: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to:
23: is there a song that reminds you of me:
3 comments|post comment

[24 Jan 2007|02:03am]
why can't there be JUST ONE band i can see live that matches this kind of energy?



bands need to start fucking getting into it. i'm so sick of seeing bands just standing there live, or seeing people like Davey from AFI just kinda walking around the stage when he used to run around the stage doing spin kicks and screaming in people's faces

come on, someone bring the passion back into rock and roll!
19 comments|post comment

huge music related update time [20 Jan 2007|04:48am]
2006 has been over for a few weeks now and I’ve been too lazy to do what is usually my favorite thing to do each year, which is write my top 10 list of the year. There are a few reasons for this, but the main one that stands out is that 2006 as a whole didn’t really excite me until I really thought about it the past couple days. I heard a bunch of good records, even a few great ones, but nothing really blew me away, and I realized it was all because of one band....The Ataris. I’ve never been exactly huge on The Ataris. I always enjoyed their songs when I heard them, thought they had a little more substance than most of their pop punk contemporaries, but early in 2006 I heard a leak of an album that was supposed to be released in the summer of 2006 called Welcome the Night. I had read that they abandoned their pop punk for a more atmospheric sound influenced by many of my favorite 90's shoegaze bands, such as Swervedriver, Slowdive, and of course My Bloody Valentine. I was excited, but I didn’t expect the Ataris of all bands to do that sound so perfectly and live up to my hopes. The album blew me away to an extent that I instantly claimed it as my #1 record of the year and was sure that nothing would top it for me. The problem is, the band had label troubles and hasn’t been able to finally release the album yet, and it won’t be coming out until February. Nothing else I’ve heard this year has been able to come close to this album for me, so it was hard to judge my list on a whole new standard. It’s hard to make a top 10 list when everything is pretty much equal for you. Picking a #1 album of the year is something I can’t just throw to something “a little bit better than all the rest.” Thankfully, by the year’s end I heard an album that stood out above all others to me, and although it isn’t nearly as perfect as my would-be #1, it’s still one that I feel comfortable putting atop a list.

This past year I had a handful of albums I looked forward to, and most of them were very good, but I spent most of my time looking to the past, which also contributed to my whole “Not being blown away by anything current” state. I became more immersed in shoegaze and discovered a whole world of new bands, including Catherine Wheel, who has probably become my favorite band of the genre. Although only their first 2 albums are shoegaze, all the other albums are excellent as well. I really got into the Beatles more than anyone else this year. Of course I had heard and liked Sgt Pepper’s before, who hasn’t? But this year I really wanted to listen to every album and hear how they went from point A to point B and so on. I explored the band inside and out, and I will never again wonder about the credit they are given. They truly are one of the greatest bands ever. The whole experience really opened up my eyes to the fact that there’s a whole world of classic bands I haven’t given enough of a chance to. I’ve been really into Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon as well, and I never used to like them until recently. Cat Stevens is also one of my favorite songwriters at the moment, and I wasn’t even familiar with his songs until this past year. I’m starting to like certain music for different reasons. I used to think being “good” at guitar was all about shredding, but now I’m not nearly as into a DragonForce solo as something like the solo on “Time” by Pink Floyd. I favor texture, soulful melody lines, and passion over technicality. Of course, I still wont deny insanely talented musicians. I just feel like songwriting and capturing a feeling with a guitar line is a lot more important than fitting as many notes in as fast as possible. I think I’ve always known that, but I just never appreciated people like Eric Clapton, Cat Stevens, or George Harrison as much until now.

2007 is a huge year for me. There are so many albums I’m looking forward to, more than any other year. Off the top of my head I can think of Thrice’s ambitious 4 album set, Dustin Kensrue’s solo album, Bad Religion, Anberlin, Jimmy Eat World, Idlewild, Bayside, a fucking new Smashing Pumpkins album!!!, Glassjaw, Radiohead, Silverchair, Fountains of Wayne, Mae, not to mention maybe a new disc from Coheed and of course, the release of the Ataris’ Welcome the Night, which I am still claiming as my album of the year for 2007. I’m really doubtful anything can beat that album. The only record this decade that has a fighting chance is Coheed’s last album.

Anyway, for those who actually read my occasional updates, it’s time for the list. This is for my actual friends on here who give a shit, and for my personal reasons. I know there are people on my friends list who could care less about this and I’ll put the list behind a cut for their benefit.

Top 10 Records of 2006Collapse )
12 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2006|06:18am]
it's amazing how after 13 years, "Mayonaise" by Smashing Pumpkins still moves me to tears at times. The beginning alone is one of the most beautiful pieces of music i have ever heard. The harmonics 33 seconds in, and then the pristine dive bomb note at 38 seconds. In those first 40 seconds you can hear it all. The entire legend of Siamese Dream. Billy Corgan going practically insane, painstakingly perfecting every note of the entire album.

If there is a Pumpkins reunion tour on deck, you can bet i will be there...and if they play "Mayonaise", i will be either drenched in tears or rocking out harder than i ever have at a show. Maybe both.
1 comment|post comment

[08 Sep 2006|07:07pm]
i usually don't post these kinds o f things...but reading the detailed results of this one, i have to say, i couldnt describe myself any better. This should be in my "about me" on myspace...although i think if that were the case then people would avoid me at all cost.

the only thing i can think of is...how do all of you put up with me? i'm a fucking asshole


My Personality
Neuroticism
99
Extraversion
10
Openness To Experience
70
Agreeableness
11
Conscientiousness
14
Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

MySpace Surveys, MySpace Codes and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

2 comments|post comment

[02 Aug 2006|11:08pm]
WARNING: this entry is going to be full of venting and realizations i'm having due to today's events, so if you don't care, don't bother reading and then tell me to "stop bitching"

today was Warped Tour. As most of you know, today was probably the hottest day in my 21 years of existence that i can remember. Rachel and I decided since we bought non refundable tickets that we would go anyway and see if we could deal with it. After being stuck in traffic for about 2 hours, we got there around 12:30, and we looked at the band list. The main bands i wanted to see were playing much later in the day, so we knew it would be a long day of heat. We went to see a band Rachel likes called the Fully Down at around 1:00, and towards the end of their set, Rachel wasn't feeling well at all and we tried to find somewhere for her to get shade and sit down but it was no use, and after asking various idiots who gave us wrong directions all over the place, someone finally pointed us in the direction of the Medical area.

We were hoping she would just be able to lay down and be ok, but as it turned out, the heat was too much and she was suffering from heat exhaustion. At this point, i was scared to death. I've never seen anything like today. As naive and dumb as it sounds, i never knew that heat could be such a serious thing for some people, and i thought maybe you just get dizzy and need to sit down. If i'd known there was any life threatening issue with it, i would have never suggested going.

Anyway, they decided she should go to the hospital so we were one of the many people throughout the day leaving Warped Tour in an ambulance. As we were on our way, we were informed that we were going to a hospital in Gardner...why you might ask? because the Leominster hospital was already full of people from Warped Tour. Apparently the state of MA begged them to cancel and offer refunds, but they refused and said they were "only expecting 5 people tops that may need an ambulance"...in the ambulance i was having trouble breathing because i was so panicked about the situation. I've never dealt with seing someone i care about wearing an oxygen mask, or going to the hospital in an ambulance. I didnt care about missing the show, i just wanted her to be ok, and i felt like there was nothing i could do. All i wanted was to make her better and i couldnt. It was then that it really hit me that she truly is the most important thing in my life. More important than music, more important than me. It was instinct, and in a way i'm glad we went through it together, because it proved to myself without a shadow of a doubt that she comes first in my life, and i always wanted to be able to truly devote myself to someone that much, and now i know i'm not the selfish jerk i always thought i was.

After being in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, i was able to go up and see her. As much as she was saying how "awful" she looked, she looked more beautiful to me than ever, because she was ok, and all that worrying was over. she was going to be fine, and that's all that mattered. I really dont feel like going into detail about how much the staff sucked at that hospital, and how little sympathy all but one of them had, but we ended up having to split a cab back to Fitchburg Airport with another couple who was there for the same reason. When we got back, the weather had subsided enough where we could have probably seen the last 3 hours of the show, but there was no re-entry, and Rachel was still a bit shaken up anyhow, so it's just as well that we couldnt go back in. I know she would have wanted to for me though, just because she is that sweet.

She felt bad for me spending the money and us leaving so quickly, but i felt horrible. I felt like it was all my fault and that she wouldnt have gone if it werent for my excitement. But i know that it's no one's fault, and things just happen and i'm past the fact that the money's gone and we missed the show. I'm just glad she's alright and i hope she qualifies for the free care the nurse gave us the pamphlet on, so she doesnt have to pay for this bill, or at least not the entire bill.

What i cant accept though, is that this just happened for no reason. I can't accept the idea of a world that would want us to spend $70 on tickets, have it be 9823429832 degrees, and have Rachel pass out from the heat and go to the hospital, causing her to get another bill to deal with, and causing us to miss the entire show. I know it sounds silly to some of you, but i really feel like something good has to come of this. Something will have to work out to make up for today. All my life, i've been through shit, but i've always scraped by and gotten through it, and everytime i lose at one thing, i gain something to make up for it. I always break even in life, and i know i shouldnt live thinking that everything's going to work itself out, but i really feel like it is. I have to tell myself that or else i'd be the most depressed person in the world. Like I said, the idea of a world where bad things happen for no reason is too much for me to cope with. This is my one placebo. Most people bullshit themselves with religion, but i have this...the undying faith that everything happens for a reason, and theres always a silver lining. I need that to function in this world.

A huge issue i've been having for a while has reared its ugly head once again however, and that is the fear that my life is never going to begin. Every tiny piece of money i spend, every tiny piece of money Rachel spends, i feel pushes us further away from starting our lives. I've been here for 21 years and i'm burned out on life, and i feel like i won't be ok until i make life for myself and move out of my dad's. It's such a small thing that haunts me constantly. I just feel like as long as i'm living at home, i'm still stuck at that same level. I feel like i've been 18, fresh out of high school, working retail and nowhere near where i need to be to move out for the past 3 years, and i'm tired of building up my money, and having stuff "come up" and it's like 1 step forward, then 2 steps back, all the time. Rachel's doing well at her job, and is going to be making more money soon, so i know things will work out for her eventually...i just feel so awful when i see her trying to save money, and things keep going wrong with her car every time she starts to build up a little...and even with my help, theres nothing that can be done because things keep "coming up"....i'm tired of that expression. things coming up. It's really killing my hope for ever having a future. I'm scared of being the old guy in the band, or the 25+ year old living at home still. I know i have time, but it's still scary. I have to get over this whole fear i have about age. I need to tell myself that i can be over 25 and still have a shot of being in a band. It just feels like the industry is all about youth, and that if i dont start now, i'll never get anywhere cause the fans are all kids, and they want someone to relate to. and i know, System of a Down, Coheed, Bad Religion still plugging along after 26 years, but FUCK! in my head i cant get over all the shit bands who are younger than me and already have records out. It bothers me. I'm jealous, because i feel like i have so much potential that's going to waste because my daddy doesnt buy me tons of expensive equipment, and support me while i quit my job and focus on music. And if these bands do support themselves, how do they afford car insurance and gas and bills and rent and are still able to play shows whenever they want? I've never heard of a good paying job that will just let you be like "hey i'll be gone on tour for a month, bye"...the only way to do that is retail, and speaking from my position, retail does not pay for car/gas/bills/rent

So in a gigantic nutshell, that was my warped tour experience and my current feelings on things as of late. I know i'm just a whiny bitch, but thank you to anyone who cares enough to read this thing still. I dont update much, and i really only use this for venting now, so please everyone do me a favor and take me off your friends list and dont read my journal if you're going to make negative comments and/or just plain don't care ...i only want true friends reading this, and i really dont have the strength to take insults in my life anymore so please have a heart and don't be a dick. just try to be understanding and if you dont have something nice to say, i really dont wanna hear it.

for those few who do read, and will comment and help me feel a little better, thank you again.
13 comments|post comment

[30 Apr 2006|02:21am]
so Friday night was the long awaited Thursday show, and it was fucking fantastic. I've been waiting 2 years to see them again, as was most of the crowd, and it definitely showed. There was so much energy in the place, even though it was obvious by looking at the crowd that about 50% of them were probably attending their first Thursday show.

me abd Rachel got there about 2 1/2 hours early and were near the front of the line. I was surprised at this because 2 years ago i went to see them at the Palladium and got there 4 HOURS early and there were probably a good 30 something kids there already and more piling in every few minutes. At this show, no one really started to show up till about an hour before doors opened. Regardless, i feel it was well worth the wait because we saw a bunch of random funny shit to entartain us. This old black dude was walking around yelling crazy shit like "hey you wanna get an asian woman, you gotta walk up to her with a bowl of rice!" or something to that effect. And there was a cat who kept coming out of an apartment window and walking across the ledge. we kept thinking he was going to fall but the owner would pop his head out and not look concerned at all, so i'm guessing this was a usual thing. Most importantly, getting there early gained us a spot right up against the barricade, making this the closest i've ever been at a Thursday show. usually i'm right behind the front people, getting tossed around, haha.

Anyway, the show started out with a band i hadnt heard called We're All Broken, and i was expecting some mosh bullshit by the name, but i have to say i was extremely impressed. I still havent had a chance to check out their recordings, but the live show was excellent. One of the guitarists was a fucking nut. You could tell he probably watched alot of At the Drive-in live videos, haha. He was running around like crazy and swinging his hair all over the place, it was fucking great. I think every band should have that sort of energy live. it's unfortunate that most of them just stand there.

Mewithoutyou was next, who i had already seen and not liked at all at the Coheed show last year. They were much more energetic this time around and at least were entertaining to watch, but i still just can't get them. The whole talking thing does nothing for me, and they played some new song where he actually seemed to be singing, but it still wasn't really my thing. Rachel enjoyed them though, and her and this other kid behind us seemed to be the only people in the place who knew any of the songs

next, after what seemed like a longer setup that Thursday's would be, Minus the Bear came on. They were absolutely FLAWLESS and played all the songs i really wanted to hear. I got a sweet baby blue Minus the Bear shirt after the show too, and i think it just may become my favorite t-shirt i own. The only downfall of their set was that stupid kids were moshing a few rows behind us and everyone was pushing forward to get out of the way. The sad thing was, rhey were doing it because they were bored. God forbid a band doesn't feel the need to put breakdowns in their fucking songs. Minus the Bear is, in my view, one of the most original bands around nowadays, and i have a feeling they're going to get a bigger following after this tour. I heard nothing but positive comments from people in the crowd around us after their set.

finally, Thursday took the stage, and the second the drums hit for "understanding in a car crash", the whole place erupted. It was great and totally took me back and made me realize why i was ever a part of this sorry excuse for a scene in the first place. It's a real shame there are so few bands like Thursday out there who genuinely show exnthusiasm, passion, and emotion when playing live. Their energy was phenomenal. The big thing for me personally though, was seeing the rest of the band with smiles on their faces, rocking out and moving around and mouthing the words to the crowd. During the tour for War All the Time, it seemed as if Geoff was the only one who really still had that energy at the shows. The other guys didn't seem to be moving around or enjoying themselves as much as they once had. Watch video footage from 2004 compared to anytime before that and you'll see what i mean. It was just so excellent to see them all back in their zone, you could really tell they needed that break and really put their hearts into the new record. It kicked ass seeing Steve jump up on the platform thing right in front of us with his guitar, singing the words to the crowd, with a huge grin on his face, instead of rocking back and forth in the same place with an almost somber expression on his face. That's what truly made it for me. Although i wont lie, Geoff was the most brilliant performer ever, as usual, doing his signature "geoff moves" for every song...the microphone swing over the crowd during the "rain rain down" part of "Paris in Flames", the hand number countdown during "jet Black New Year", and of course it's always AMAZING and powerful to see Geoff sing "This Soug Has Been Brought to you by a Falling Bomb" live

We still had confetti on our hair and clothes from "Jet Black New Year" when we got to Wendy's to FINALLY get some food...i dont think i had ever been more hungry in my life. I downed the food and got home and passed out. I'm EXTREMELY sore still from that show but it was completely worth it. I'm so pumped for Warped Tour. That's the next really big one for me. If i can find someone to go with, maybe i'll attend the AFI show in June too. I love the new single, and i'm dying to hear the record.

In case anyone cares to know, and for my own personal memories, here's the setlist for the Thursday show:

Understanding in a Car Crash
Paris in Flames
Other Side of the Crash
Division St
For the Workforce Drowning
Counting 5-4-3-2-1
How Long is the Night?
Signals Over the Air
At This Velocity
This Song Has Been Brought to You by a Falling Bomb
Cross Out the Eyes
The Lovesong Writer
ENCORE
Jet Black New Year
Sugar in the Sacrament
Autobiography of a Nation
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[19 Apr 2006|05:05am]
i understand some of you who read my journal aren't politically involved, or don't share the same viewpoints as i do, but i felt the need to post this because it's one of the most interesting things i have ever watched

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8260059923762628848&q=loose+change+2nd&pl=true

this is a link to a documentary entitled "Loose Change (2nd Edition)"...it was made by a few college students who were writing a fictional film where the plotline was "what if 9/11 was all a government conspiracy?"...in researching for the film, they found all sorts of evidence that it actually may have been, and if not, it proves that the twin towers could not have possibly been brought down in those plane crashes, and the "crash" at the Pentagon could not have possibly been the plane they said it was, among MANY other details to do with the day's events, and it's turned into a documentary

This isn't exactly just another Fahrenheit 9/11 trying to get you to hate Bush...it's all based upon scientific evidence and factual information, and it's set up almost like something you would watch on the History Channel. It doesn't act as a comedic look on our government, it presents information in a way that lays out all the facts and is impossible to argue

This is an 80 minute video, so i know alot of you may not care enough about this kind of thing to watch it, but if you disagree with my standpoint, i refuse to respect or take your opinion seriously until you watch this video in its entirety. Then if you still disagree, i'd love to hear why and how you do.

i'm honestly not trying to force my beliefs on anyone...but this is something i truly feel should be watched by every person who has any sort of care at all about our country, our freedoms, and the people who have died and our still dying all to line the pockets of our government. It will either make you doubt your government if you dont already, or give you more reason to be against them.

Thank you to all who have read and if just one person watches this, it makes all the difference. Also, if you do watch it, and are affected by it as strongly as i was, please inform other people you know, especially those who still believe we were attacked and were justified in going to Afghanistan and Iraq. Every person who sees the truth counts.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! [24 Mar 2006|01:53am]
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! I CAN'T BREATHE!!!

THIS VIDEO IS BY FAR THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!! I wanna know who decided to put this on the news


http://www.break.com/index/leprechaun23.html
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[13 Mar 2006|08:31pm]
LONG VENTING ENTRY AHEAD...IF YOU DONT CARE, JUST DONT READ IT, BUT IM NOT PUTTING IT BEHIND A CUT BECAUSE IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO SKIP MY JOURNAL, YOU SHOULDNT BE ON MY FRIENDS LIST


a few things i've realized or learned about music as of late:

~ For the past few days i've asked myself: Why did i ever dislike Glassjaw? Listening to this band right now i can't find one reason why i wouldnt like them. I remember getting the first Finch record and saying i didnt like the songs where Daryl did the backing screaming...but his screaming isn't irritating at all. I like those songs now... I always liked the first 2 Deftones records (an obvious influence), i always loved Finch (who rips off Glassjaw), and I always liked Head Automatica BECAUSE of Daryl's vocal style, so my reasoning really makes no sense, does it?...i'll get back to this at the end of this entry, because this does have a point

~ How was i not aware for the past 5 years that Alien Ant Farm was actually a great, reputable band? It's funny, since i've discovered this, people have been like "yea didnt you remember that 'Movies' song?" and i say "No! how did i miss this!"...the story goes like this: I hear Alien Ant Farm cover "Smooth Criminal" in 10th grade and never check them out cause i think theyre just some shit band who's making their career off a shit cover, never hearing from them again...5 years later, my manager Warren brings a bunch of old tapes into work, including their first record...he puts it on and i assume we're gonna have a laugh, but then realize that they're not only a GREAT band, but they also sound a lot like the Shabutie days of Coheed and Cambria. I felt like i had been living under a rock, and i've never felt that way about music. I'm usually up on these things

~ Andrew W.K. is the most fun and positive music you could ever listen to...there is no way i can't feel pumped about life when i listen to it. I'm probably going to cry from happiness if i ever see the man live.

~ I have so many different directions i want to go with my music right now that when i do start a band, it's going to be the most bi-polar band ever. It's going to be complex yet simple and hooky. it's going to be intense, yet emotional. and it's going to be ALL about the live show.

~ speaking of which...At the Drive in was the craziest live band of all time. I'm depressed that i'll never get to witness that kind of onstage chaos at a show.

I realized this a long time ago but i feel a need to repeat it since no one seems to get it...the scene is dead. long gone. Music gets widely known too quickly now, and kids are growing up without any sense of community at shows. The scene that you see now is a cheap attempt of what it once was, but it's not the same because theres no cult-like feel to it.

BUT, there is an upside, and it's the fact that everything comes to life, dies, and reforms into something else...and the fact that the scene is dead, and there are still some people in my age group going to see people like Jonah Matranga, means the SPIRIT is still alive. It's like when people say punk is dead, and maybe it is, but theres still that group of kids who like REAL punk, and they start 1977 style punk bands, and theres such a small audience for it, it almost becomes a small community again...and then eventually it rises to popularity for a while, and everyone gets pissed, and then it dies off again, and the next generation gets to be part of a community.

Most of my favorite music comes from the 90s. I get happy now when i meet someone who's a huge Smashing Pumpkins or Everclear fan...and i get even happier when i meet someone who knows who Marvelous 3 or Superdrag are aside from their singles. But if i were to rewind 10 years ago, i was a shy little 6th grader who felt like the whole world was into all of MY music and i had no identity, and then when i was 11 i discovered Blink 182, and at 13 i got into Epitaph Records punk bands, and the next year i found stuff like New Found Glory and Sum 41, and i felt like that whole side of my taste was something no one knew...and then everyone got into that stuff, and i felt like another face in the crowd again.

The point of this whole thing is, everything gets popular, and theres no reason to change your taste because of this, or force yourself to like obscure bands, cause theyre just going to get popular in time. I know alot of people who've felt like me, and have denounced bands because of their fame..,i've even done it at times...but one thing that i've always maintained is that every band ive ever truly loved, i still like to this day...my problem has always been that a new band comes out, is popular, and i dont know them yet...so i dont want to like them because of the fact, and most of the time, i avoid even listening to it.

Recently i've noticed alot of bands on my playlist are bands i claimed to hate at one point without ever really listening to them or giving them a fair chance. Over the recent months i've found that i really enjoy Rise Against, Saves the Day, Faith No More, and even some Atreyu and Dashboard Confessional songs.

It's dumb to pretend not to like something without even listening to it. I hate My Chemical Romance's fanbase, but i like their music, and i've always enjoyed the popular record far more than their first album. I like War all the Time more than i like Full Collapse by Thursday. When the new Hawthorne Heights album was streaming online, i listened to half of it and i didnt like any of it...i think they're a shit band and i have many reasons for feeling that way. I don't like Fall Out Boy's singer. I think his voice is annoying, and therefore i don't like Panic at the Disco because the vocals are exactly the same. It grates on me. Now a band like Atreyo, i dont like their screaming style, it annoys me...but i love their guitar parts and i love the singers voice when he actually sings, so even though i wanted to hate them, i couldnt. They're actually a well put together band. Avenged Sevenfold are extremely talented musicians who are shit songwriters, and their singer sucks, so i dont like them.

I could go on forever. I'm just so sick of people liking/not liking things because it's cool or it's not cool. I'm tired of reading Pitchfork and seeing these horrible bands like Animal Collective getting all this credit because theyre "different"...There are too many fucking bands who sound like retards banging on tribal drums and no one respects great songwriting anymore, and im sick of people pretending to like this shit cause its obscure.

We're all guility of it at some point, but i'm really going to stop avoiding a band because i'm afraid that god forbid, i might actually LIKE it. Going back to the beginning, i avoided Glassjaw for 4 years because of that reason...and i regret it every time i listen to them now.
4 comments|post comment

[09 Mar 2006|03:08am]
Taylor Hicks is the fucking MAN...I never watched American Idol before this season, but i started watching the auditions just to laugh, and i've followed Taylor and Chris Daughtry through the whole thing because they rule that much

Call me a dork, i dont care....this guy fucking rules all

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vwP1mDBEgU8
5 comments|post comment

[07 Mar 2006|01:43am]
so tonight i went to the Paradise in Boston to see fucking JONAH MATRANGA!!!

jesus that guy is brilliant...he played songs from all his projects, including MOTHER MARY from Far!!! i couldnt believe that...it was awesome, since the only other time i saw that song live was when Jonah sang it with THursday at Skate and Surf 3 years ago, and at that point, i'll admit i wasn't familiar with him as anything but "that onelinedrawing guy"

ive absolutely become such a huge fan of his. Once i finally discovered Far about a year or 2 ago, i realized what a huge impact that band had on music today...Jonah is, in my view, the most influential voice on post-hardcore as we know it. Without Jonah there would be no Thursday...and when i discovered Far i felt instantly that there's a HUGE piece these kids now are missing...i felt like "where was I in 1997-98? how did i miss this?"

then i met Rachel, and she had the CD of Jonah's last project, Gratitude, which sadly only lasted a year or 2, but i liked the album...and i saw them perform at Warped tour briefly before leaving their set early to see Thrice on time...and i hated having to leave, because i realized that day that Jonah was one of the most honest, sincere, heartfelt performers around now, and tonight further cemented that

The guy's a legend. he influenced more bands that you could imagine...and yet he's 36 years old and he's playing at the Paradise Lounge in Boston, which was about the size of a coffee shop. He took the time to say hi to everyone, give hugs to anyone who asked, sign anything that anyone brought...when i bought a copy of the Far CD/DVD that ive been meaning to get for some time, he announced his merchandise was "pay what you can"...and said whatever i had was fine, 10-15 bucks...he probabbly would have even given it to me for less because he sold a shirt to one dude for $5, but i paid $15 willingly, because that's a guy i wanna support...when he was on stage, his emotion was so pure, he smiled throughout the whole set and told little stories between the songs...it's 100% evident that he just loves to do what he does, and that's AL that it's about for him, and i have the utmost respect for him because of it

EVERYONE...if you EVER get the chance to see Jonah live, do it. You don't need to know the songs. I didn't know most of them, only the Far and Gratitude ones, but PLEASE, check this guy out. Listen to any of his bands. Watch a live video. I've never seen anything so incredible in my life. He opened his set by walking on stage and just singing an entire Gratitude song, without strumming a note, his voice filled with so much power that he stood far back from the mic at times...not even Andrew W.K. is as passionate a performer as Jonah, and thats saying a LOT. So check out some Far, onelinedrawing, New End Original, or Gratitude stuff...it's all different styles, and it's all wonderful. Maybe you wont like it, but i gurantee seeing this guy live will win ANYONE over

I have been to countless shows, and had great times, and intense moments...but i have never been MOVED by a show more in a my life.
6 comments|post comment

[17 Feb 2006|02:03am]
im tired, and i want to go to sleep...but first i'm gonna watch Raw since my dad taped it for me...and i wanted to talk for a minute about something that happened last night

There's an obscure 90's powerpop band i like called Super Deluxe. They never got big, they never even really had a hit, but i discovered them via the movie Kingpin years ago...you know, that bowling movie with Woody Harrelson with a hook for a hand...haha...but anyway, they play a song of theirs called "She Came On" briefly in the movie...and i spent years trying to track down the CD at stores, and i ended up finding it for a penny a few months ago on Amazon...unfortunately, the rest of the record, although i love it, doesnt compare to that song.

Anyway, onto the point...last night i was watching Kingpin, and heard the song clip, and i was like "i feel like listening to that song"...so i busted out the CD, and put it on...and i realized, it's a PERFECT song. I cant find anything wrong with it. I listened to it on repeat for an hour, and i just love every little detail. It's incredibly catchy, all the backing vocals are in the right parts, it's what bands like the Gin Blossoms should have been

so there you have it people...while it may not be as grandoise a masterpiece as Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" or Radiohead's "Paranoid Android",,,"she Came On" by Super Deluxe is one of the best 3 minute powerpop gems i've ever heard and it ranks up with my favorite songs ever. So if you're into 90's powerpop like tge Qin Blossoms or Superdrag, and soothing James Taylor-esque vocal melodies, try to track down that song...not everyone will like it, but i can;t find one thing i dislike about it
10 comments|post comment

every now and then, these things are 100% right [08 Feb 2006|06:39pm]

You fit in with:
Atheism



Your ideals mostly resemble those of an Atheist. You have very little faith and you are very focused on intellectual endeavors. You value objective proof over intuition or subjective thoughts. You enjoy talking about ideas and tend to have a lot of in depth conversations with people.


80% scientific.
60% reason-oriented.





Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com



yep...i'd say that pretty much hits it right on the head
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